


Face Blind

by kitkatt0430



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Brain Damage, Character Growth, Character Study, Friendship, Gen, Minor Barry Allen/Iris West, Minor Cisco Ramon/Cynthia Reynolds, Prosopagnosia, Ralph is a little more self aware here than his show counterpart, Ralph is face blind, Reworking Season 4, Suicidal Thoughts, discussion of past injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25011502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkatt0430/pseuds/kitkatt0430
Summary: Ralph can tell them how many people were on the bus when the Flash ran by. He can tell them about how tall those people were and their body types and whether or not they were conventionally attractive. Their hair color even. But Team Flash wants descriptions of their faces because, you know, running facial recognition against sketches is a thing.But that's the one thing Ralph cannot give them.
Relationships: Barry Allen & Ralph Dibny
Comments: 7
Kudos: 24





	Face Blind

**Author's Note:**

> In which Ralph is face blind and a little more self aware. And I maybe play fix it with the season 4 plot in a few places.

In retrospect it's kind of funny, in a 'how is this my life' sort of way.

Ralph takes pictures of the wrong damn person and, thankfully, he notices before he calls his client. Which is why he was on the bus that day.

It was warm that day and stifling on the bus, but Ralph needed this money to make the rent on his office. He'd already written off his apartment and was spending his nights behind his desk in a sleeping bag he kept hidden during the day behind his filing cabinets. If he lost his office, he'd be out both a job and a place to sleep. After all, who hires a PI who can't afford an office?

So he's internally panicking and not paying attention to anyone else on the bus, when goosebumps prickle his arms. There's a flare of bright light outside and the bus swerves a little bit before coming to a stop. And then the Flash goes running over and away, right past Ralph's window.

Despite his internal panic over his financial situation, Ralph can't help but smile at the sight. The Flash has kind of become a beacon of hope to him, these last few years. He finds that to be painfully ironic, later, when he learns the Flash is Barry "Fucking" Allen.

But, anyway, Ralph stakes out the correct apartment this time, gets the incriminating photographs of the right person, double checks the pictures, like, fifty times, calls his client, and gets paid.

Which is when he goes to toss the photographs of the wrong person and suddenly realizes that he has evidence of the Mayor taking bribes from the mob. And promptly comes to the conclusion that he can't get rid of the photographs. Because if he was noticed taking them then their existence will wind up being the only thing that keeps him from getting murdered by hitmen from the Santinis.

And when the 'clearly not hitmen' show up a few days later, Ralph gets very drunk after successfully bluffing his way through that meeting. Because he can't go to the police with this - he's a disgraced cop himself and no one at the local precinct is going to be open to protecting him or looking into what he's found. Assuming they don't just accuse him of manufacturing the evidence.

When he's drunk, Ralph can admit that's his own fault, though. He faked evidence and was terrible at it and was rightfully caught. It's not Allen's fault. It's not anyone's fault but Ralph's. He screwed up his career.

There's a part of Ralph that considers just... letting the hitmen kill him. Push too far, let them shoot him, he doesn't have to deal with the bullshit his life has become anymore.

It'd break his mother's heart. Which is a sobering thought.

He's still panicking like fuck days later - because literal hitmen came to threaten him and he still has no game plan - when two people with familiar voices walk into Ralph's office. Barry Allen and Detective Joe West. Ralph would know their voices anywhere.

And all he can think is, no way. No way Barry "Fucking" Allen is dirty. But why else would they be here if not to intimidate Ralph on the Mayor's behalf? Chosen for their familiarity with him, no doubt.

Except... all they care about is what happened the day after he took the wrong photographs. They care about some boring, overheated bus ride. So maybe not dirty after all. Just lousy timing. Ralph sends them away, only to regret it as the 'clearly not hitmen' waltz back into Ralph's office moments later to drag him to the roof and dangle Ralph off the top ledge.

For a moment, he thinks he's falling in slow motion. This is it. He's dead. His mom's going to be the only person at his funeral and it'll end up being just her crying into a priest's arms. She deserved so much better...

Except his legs are still up on the roof as the top of his head gently reached the ground. Which meant he was having a weird moments-before-death experience... or this was really happening. He was a meta. With the lamest powers ever. Stretchy legs. That won't unstretch and won't coordinate now and...

And naturally that's when Allen and West come back. Ralph is hyperventilating at that point and passes out.

He wakes up in STAR Labs and the situation gets weirder. But the lovely Doctor Snow with the kind voice promises she's better than a hospital's doctor because she can actually fix his legs. And the rest of him too. Because other parts of him are stretchy too and sneezing was the most terrifying experience he's ever had.

But whatever she does works. Ralph looks like himself again. And he manages, barely, not to cry and embarrass himself.

He gets accused of blackmail, as expected, when the whole story about the photographs comes out. But, as Ralph points out, if he was blackmailing the Mayor for money then he'd have money. He'd have an apartment. He'd have a real bed and not a sleeping bag he kept hidden because he wasn't actually supposed to be sleeping in his office. It could get him in trouble with the building manager.

Which is when he learns that his office got blown up. And Ralph has to excuse himself so that he can cry in peace without all these people he either doesn't know or doesn't like staring at him.

But things get out of hand with the Mayor, after that. Detective West gets kidnapped in a helicopter and the Flash asks Ralph to use his new powers to help. And what good will that do? All Ralph does is fuck up his life and the lives of everyone around him. He'll only make things worse.

And that's when he learns the Flash is Barry Allen. And also the nerd from STAR Labs saves Ralph from some weirdo who keeps calling Ralph a plasmid or something funky like that. It's a weird night all around and Ralph is maybe, kind of in shock as he reaches out with the best hand-eye coordination of his life and grabs a helicopter out of the air.

He can barely feel the Flash - Allen - run up his arms. But he gets an absolute rush of relief when he sees West is okay afterwards.

Ralph sleeps at STAR Labs that night and Allen takes Ralph to see his office the next morning. Which has been repaired and his things replaced as best as Allen was able to, because apparently he had some time on his hands and was feeling grateful.

It's also when Allen pitches the possibility of Ralph working for STAR Labs for a while. Like, as a consultant. It'd pay well and they did need to track down everyone else who'd been on the bus with Ralph that day. They were all potential metas.

He wasn't in a position to say no, so it was probably a good thing that Ralph didn't want to say no. For a moment, the night before, Ralph had gotten a taste of what it meant to save someone's life. Or help save someone's life, anyway. He'd forgotten, somewhere along the way, that what he'd wanted more than anything as a kid was to protect people.

He didn't want to forget that again. So he said yes.

And when Allen leaves, Ralph sits behind his desk and laughs until he cries.

* * *

Ralph quickly realizes there is a big problem with him helping Team Flash track down his fellow bus metas.

See, he can tell them how many people were on the bus when the Flash ran by. He can tell them about how tall those people were and their body types and whether or not they were conventionally attractive. Their hair color even. But Team Flash wants descriptions of their faces because, you know, running facial recognition against sketches is a thing.

But that's the one thing Ralph cannot give them. He'd love to. But he can't. And they're getting really shirty about it too. Like, is it really that big a deal that he can give an accurate guess of that one chick's measurements or remembers her more fondly than the other people on the bus because she had such a bright costume that made her stand out? He's just as good at guesstimating measurements for dudes too. He's not being a sexist asshole. Well... not intentionally anyway.

They clearly think he's just being a sexist asshole.

The thing is... Ralph can't describe faces anymore.

Laughing it off doesn't help and Ralph wants the floor to open up to eat him. He's too embarrassed to tell them the truth. So he ends up excusing himself to go to the bathroom.

He walks past the bathroom. Keeps walking down the subtly curved hallway and wonders how long it'll take to circle the whole building. Maybe he needs provisions for this expedition. Could take months. (He's exaggerating, of course. Ralph just doesn't want to go back into that room and humiliate himself further.)

Eventually he ducks into an abandoned office, sinks down with his back against the wall, wraps his arms around his knees, and wishes this was someone else's life. A painfully familiar mantra.

Why didn't having super powers make everything better? Weren't they supposed to make everything better?

Someone opens the door and walks into the room. Sits down quietly beside Ralph. He doesn't look up to see who it is.

The voice, of course, is unmistakably Barry Allen's. "Do you want to talk about what's going on?"

"No." Ralph wants to know why his powers don't fix this part of him too. They gave him back his abs, why can't they...

Allen doesn't push for more information. Which is why Ralph ends up spilling the beans anyway.

"I got knocked down the stairs by some guy I was trying to collect a bounty on two years ago. Hit my head pretty hard. I woke up in the hospital with a bad concussion and I couldn't... I thought it was temporary at first. That I'd be normal again if I just waited long enough. But it never went back to normal.

"I have acute brain damage. My ability to process and recognize distinguishing facial characteristics has been diminished. The technical term is... ah, shit, how is pronounced again..." Ralph faltered, his voice cracked just a little.

"Prosopagnosia," Barry filled in quietly. "Face blindness."

"Right. That." Ralph swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. "It's why I'm so shit at my job now. It's why I didn't even realize I was taking pictures of the Mayor getting a payoff and not my client's cheating husband until after I'd landed myself in hot water. I like being a PI, but I'm losing money because I've had to relearn how to do half my job. And I don't know what to do with myself if I can't be a detective."

Ralph took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry. You hired me to help track down the other bus metas and I'm useless."

"You're not useless." Barry doesn't even hesitate to say that. "And I bet you remember a lot more than you realize. It doesn't need to be about their faces, okay?" He pauses a beat. "Are you ready to head back or do you need a while longer?"

"Let's just get this over with." Ralph stands up and follows Barry back to the cortex.

And then Barry asks Ralph about the people on the bus again. Distinguishing clothes choices? Hair choices? Did he hear their voices? Those sorts of details were what Barry asked for.

"Okay, so there were three other women on the bus, aside from Becky Sharp," Ralph said, starting over. The first one was a few seats down from me on the other side of the bus and she was already there when I got on. Fairly certain she was Native American, based on the whole aesthetic of her clothing." He rattled off a description of her outfit, eyes shut as he tried to remember the events better, little details and the like. Then he added details about her skin tone range, approximate height, the length of her hair, and the out of town accent that marked her as being from somewhere in Nevada.

Ralph was very good at identifying accents.

He described everything about her except her face. All he can really say is she had a face. With cheekbones and eyes and a nose but if they were noteworthy? Ralph cannot fucking remember.

Barry doesn't push for details on her face, though. Just moves Ralph on to the next woman on the bus.

"White brunette with headphones on, rocking a jeans on plaid look. Tried to flirt with one of the other ladies and got shut down real fast. She sounded Southern. But, like, the thicker Texas country accent, not the more subtle Texas suburban." Once again, Ralph described basically everything about her except her face.

On to the final woman on the bus. "She was black with a lighter skin tone. The kind makeup lines market as dark but isn't actually dark." That earns him a snort of amusement from Iris West. "Her hair was dyed kind of an electric blue? It looked really pretty on her. I don't think I heard her say anything, she was kind of giving 'keep away' vibes." Another clothes, height, etc description later and it was on to the guys.

"I couldn't really see the guy in front of me well. I wasn't paying attention when he got on. Boring outfit from what I did see of it. He was really upset about something, though. Crying about it and messed up his sinuses pretty bad from it. I thought maybe I could cheer him up; his lungs would've thanked me, but... either he got dumped or lost his job or someone died. Something pretty awful, anyway." From there, Ralph described him with as much detail he could, tacking on, "he had a beard," at the end. "Full face beard, trimmed short."

And it's basically the same thing over and over again after that. No details they can use to create a useful sketch from, nothing that could be used to run facial recognition on to get an instant match. Ralph can't imagine how any of this is useful.

But Barry sits Ralph in front of a computer next, where... they've got camera footage from various stops the bus made that day. He must've asked Cisco to find it while Ralph was giving his detailed physical descriptions.

"Thankfully, enough places keep camera footage for a year or two these days that we should be able to spot at least a few of the people you just described and use that to find out their identities," Barry was saying, and of course he'd know all of this. He's a CSI.

"Your speed force portal opened right after the stop where Becky got on board," Ralph offered, "so we should start with the stop before hers and move backwards from there."

He waits while Cisco pulls up Becky's stop, then skips to a different camera, before scooting out of the way to give Ralph a better view. From there, Cisco talks Ralph through how to pick cameras and time stamps so they don't accidentally fast forward or rewind past the bus as it rolls into a stop. Soon Ralph's identified four of his fellow passengers. Crying dude, someone apparently going by the name Kilgore, the woman who liked her denim and plaid, and a bald guy. Cisco's even identified one of them as a local musician by the name of Izzy.

Seemed like maybe Allen knew what he was doing as the leader of Team Flash after all. Who else would have thought that refreshing Ralph's memory of all the details he had noticed would help him pick so many strangers out of a crowd?

* * *

It's not just coaching Ralph into remembering the details, though. Allen helps Ralph train his powers. Listens to Ralph alternately wax lyrical over how cool his powers are and freak out over how much he hates being suddenly different all over again. Laughs with him over the incident with the mugger.

So when Ralph goes out as Barry's backup for the first time and a little girl gets hurt because Ralph makes the wrong call - doesn't listen to what Barry tells him to do... Once Ralph finds out the girl will be okay, the only thing worse than the disappointment and self-loathing curdling in his own chest is the knowledge he let Barry down again.

He doesn't understand why Barry doesn't send him packing then and there. Ralph had been right about being a screw up who hurt everyone around him. This is proof. Isn't it?

"You're going to make mistakes, Ralph. I've made some pretty terrible ones myself. But that doesn't mean you get to give up on yourself. And if it's too hard to believe in yourself right now, then trust that I believe in you, okay? You want to do the right thing and you're willing to learn how to fix things when you screw up. That counts for so much."

So Ralph tries again. And later he goes to see the little girl and cheers her up with an... unusual application of his powers. She'll be okay. The cast will come off and it'll make a cool story for her friends. It was traumatic for her, but not the lasting sort of trauma. Thank god.

But this experience will stick with Ralph for a very, very long time.

* * *

The night Barry and Iris have their respective bachelors and bachelorette parties, Ralph is invited along to join not just Barry, Cisco, Joe, and Harry but also Oliver freaking Queen (oh, god, his arms were so muscular and Ralph can't stop staring, he's feeling so pansexual right now), some dude from England (Julian's voice was so pretty, did Ralph mention how pansexual he was feeling? Because it was very.), and Wally West (too young for Ralph, but still gorgeous, how did Barry know so many hot men???) who'd returned from a sight-seeing tour of the world.

But with Iris having her party at the same time, including Caitlin, Cecile, Cecile's daughter Joannie, a beautiful blonde woman called Felicity, Linda Park - who had been Ralph's favorite sports journalist before she'd left for Coast City and much prettier in person - and Cisco's girlfriend Cynthia, that means there is no one manning STAR Labs in case something goes wrong.

Ralph volunteers for night watch duty instead. It's worth it when Barry drops off a steak dinner to go and thanks him for keeping an eye on things. Ralph's starting to fit in with the team, but that doesn't mean they're friends yet. He'd have been uncomfortable and out of place all night if he'd gone with them.

But maybe... one day.

* * *

"Who are you?" Ralph demands, dinner left half finished in the break room when he heard noise coming from the cortex.

She's wearing the same clothes Caitlin had been wearing earlier. Her body type is the right shape for Caitlin. Her hair is even the same style. Except... her hair is now pure white. And her eyes might be a different color. (What color were Caitlin's eyes normally? Brown? He's, like, ninety percent certain her eyes are brown.) And then she speaks and her voice... that is not Caitlin's voice.

"What, don't I look like Caity to you?" she asks mockingly.

"Not even remotely," Ralph responded. She actually smiles at him for that, though.

That was when a breach opened up and the rest of the bachelorette party - sans Caitlin - showed up, Cynthia placing herself in a position to fight the interloper if necessary and...

Not-Caitlin's body language is hiding something under the defiance and the angry barbs she trades with Cynthia. It takes Ralph a moment to place it and when he does, he puts himself between the two women. Probably a stupid move on his part, but he's pretty hard to cause permanent harm to these days.

The woman borrowing Caitlin's body was scared.

And the one thing he could do that was probably even more idiotic than stepping between a woman with the ability to throw vibrational blasts and another woman who could form weaponized icicles would have to be asking the latter of the two why she's so scared.

Naturally Ralph does this anyway. He also asks what her name is, because he can't keeping thinking of her as 'Not-Caitlin'. It's rude.

"My name is... it's Frost. And I'm not scared." Her guard lowers anyway. And then... haltingly, giving Cynthia wary looks, Frost tells them what really happened to her and to Caitlin while they were missing over the summer.

It's decided that the ladies will deal with Amunet Black themselves. Frost isn't thrilled by this plan, but the others are willing to give Frost a second chance after whatever went down the year before, which was apparently pretty bad.

Ralph finishes his dinner with Cecile and Joannie for company, cheerfully explaining the whole Team Flash thing to Joannie who... was apparently the only person in the group not in the know. They run the comms for the rest of the bachelorette party and Ralph is pretty damn proud of the ladies when they rescue the source of Amunet's latest drug trade. A person.

Ralph doesn't recognize him, emaciated and gaunt as he is. But he recognizes Ralph. He was the guy who'd been crying on the bus in the seat in front of Ralph's. And he's still crying, but now his tears create a drugged euphoria... for everyone except the one person who wanted that escape the most.

"Look... no one has really explained this whole 'Earth-2, Earth-19, Earth-30-whatever' thing to me," Ralph pipes up when Felicity tentatively offers to bring the guy back to Star city to hide from Amunet and anyone else who'd try to kidnap the guy again. "But it sounds like we're talking parallel realities, right?" He waits for the nods of agreement. "So why can't we send him to another Earth? Preferably one with good therapists, 'cause he was depressed even before the whole being kidnapped and enslaved and his literal tears being used as a drug source thing."

"That's not a bad idea," Iris agreed, looking to Cynthia.

"It can't be Earth-19. I'm stretching the rules enough as it is with how much time I spend here with Cisco. Bringing back a refugee will land us both in jail." And, wow, Ralph hadn't known Cynthia and Cisco were doing an inter-dimensional, star crossed lovers thing. That was... weird. He'd just thought Cynthia's dad was kind of overly dramatic and scary.

He lets them figure out what parallel dimension would be safest for the guy - sounds like Earth-38 is winning so far - and Ralph tries to think of what Barry would do in this situation. Or Cisco. They're both kind, compassionate people. The sort of person Ralph wants to be.

"Are you okay with any of this?" Ralph finally asks the crying guy - Jim something-or-other, it really doesn't help that Ralph's about as bad at remembering names as he is faces. "Because this is your life and you have the final say in this."

"I'll go," Jim agrees. His tone doesn't exactly sound thrilled and it's entirely possible he's only agreeing because he doesn't think he's got a choice. But at least Ralph attempted to give him a voice in determining his own fate. That counts for something... right?

They have to wait for the bachelor party to come back and Barry is drunk for apparently the first time since he was struck by lightning. It's not the greatest timing, even though if ever there is a night Barry deserves to get drunk its his bachelor party. Cisco winds up breaching to Earth-38 to discuss hiding Jim (Parsons? Pearsons? Why the hell are names so hard? It blended into the word after it and Ralph doesn't want to ask Iris to repeat herself, because what if she think's he's being rude or not paying attention?) with the leader of some organization there called the DEO. (His name sounds like John Johns and Ralph is just about done for the night because his brain is clearly not processing correctly.)

As he packs up to head home - to a real apartment again, he's absolutely thrilled about this development, it's absolutely wonderful having a steady paycheck again - Iris taps Ralph on the shoulder. "You did good, suggesting we get him off our Earth and getting Jim to start engaging with the conversation. He's apparently pretty interested in getting to start over fresh on the same Earth as Supergirl."

"Is that why she's only shown up, like, twice?" Ralph asked absently. "Thanks Iris."

"Barry will be proud of you too, once he sobers up." Iris laughed, expression turning fond. "I forgot how much like an overgrown puppy he is when he's drunk."

It means a lot to know that Iris is proud of him, though. Ralph's not really sure when that happened; when he became so eager to prove himself not just to Barry 'that asshole' Allen, but the entirety of Team Flash. He wants to live up to their expectations so bad...

* * *

When Barry had mentioned that Team Flash had made mistakes they weren't proud of, Ralph hadn't known what to expect. When he learns how they treated Frost when she first manifested... he wasn't expecting that.

He quickly realizes the nervousness and uncertainty between pretty much everyone and Frost is because... they all screwed that one up. They made Frost feel like she had no choice but to be a bad person and, unsurprisingly, Frost did bad things. Frost's on probation with the team, in a sense, because of her former behavior... but the team is also on probation with her, to see if they can earn her forgiveness and trust too.

Ralph does what he can to ease the way between Caitlin and Frost. Because if Caitlin can learn to love her alter ego then the others will fall in line.

* * *

Ralph does not fight Nazis. He evacuates the wedding guests and leads the clean up afterwards. He feels guilty with how relieved he is to be left out of the worst of the fighting, especially when he hears that someone died. Because that's what scares Ralph the most.

Dying. Him dying. Someone else dying. Death in general.

There are too many Nazis in their own world these days, they didn't need some other Earth's Nazis to stick their noses where they didn't belong.

* * *

Barry gets framed for murder in the weirdest case of 'like father, like son' that Ralph's ever heard about.

"Follow Cisco's lead, okay? He's a pretty good teacher and you'll learn a lot from him," Barry tells Ralph, like who's going to mentor him as a hero with the Flash locked up is the biggest question on Ralph's mind.

It's not. Not even remotely. But Ralph nods and promises to be head of the class, much to Barry's amusement. If Ralph's crash courses in being a good superhero are what Barry wants Ralph to concentrate on, then that's what he'll do.

* * *

Cisco is fun to work with and Ralph very quietly fanboys that he's finally going out in the field with Vibe. And first time out Cisco breaks his arm. Which means when Axel Walker teams up with his mother to cause Trickster Trouble, Ralph's on his own.

And Walker does something no one else Ralph's fought so far had managed to do. He hurt Ralph. Endangered his life.

Sure, he'd been in danger before, but... it hadn't felt real. After all, he was a guy who could tie his arm up like a balloon animal didn't need to fear broken bones or internal injuries. Needles could only pierce him if he let them and bullets ricocheted off him without so much as a thought. Arguably, his powers had activated in response to his fear of death, so it kind of made sense that, thanks to his powers, he generally didn't have a need to fear for his life.

Acid was something else entirely, however. Acid didn't bounce or ricochet or cause him to stretch. Acid just ate everything it touched. It made stretching hurt. It made Ralph hurt - really, truly hurt - for the first time in months.

In other words, acid was frightening.

But Cisco is every bit the wise leader Barry thought he was.

"You know, the first time I faced off against a super villain, I didn't even know I had powers?" Cisco told him. "See... I caused the mess Barry was in and I knew I could never live with myself if I didn't try to get him out of it. I made the first Cold Gun. Before I got to know Barry and what kind of person he was... how do you stop a speedster who abuses their powers?"

Cisco shook his head ruefully. "The Cold Gun was stolen, obviously, and fell into Leonard Snart's hands. And Barry was furious when he found out I'd made that gun. Snart had killed someone in front of Barry with it and he wasn't fast enough to save that person. And to find out I'd made that gun because I didn't trust him at first... I honestly thought Barry was going to get himself killed. He went off comms and fought Snart again and exhausted himself getting every single person off the train that Snart derailed.

"By the time I got there, Barry was on the verge of a hypoglycemic episode and Snart was pointing his Cold Gun at him. And all I had was a vacuum cleaner covered in LEDs and the desperate hope I could bluff Snart into believing that it was a more powerful prototype of the gun in his hands." Cisco grimaced, "pretty sure I failed that bluff, but he left anyway."

Ralph is transfixed by the story, though he has to admit he doesn't quite grasp the relevance for his current circumstances. Learning about how the team he's now part of came together is absolutely fascinating, though.

"My point," Cisco tells him, "is it's not about being fearless. If you're being fearless, then you're being reckless. It's about whether or not you can live with yourself after your choices have been made. Is inaction now something you can live with later?"

And Ralph gets it. They could call Wally or Harry's daughter Jesse or even ask Cynthia to do them a favor. This situation doesn't all hinge on Ralph's decisions and Axel Walker will be stopped one way or another. But this is about what kind of person Ralph wants to be and the decisions he can live with.

Is he the kind of person who runs away at the first sign of real danger or someone who'll step up and try to do the right thing, even when he's scared?

He wants to protect people. Even if the cost to himself is high. Even if he's terrified.

So Ralph goes out and he fights the Trickster Duo. And he wins.

* * *

Cecile has a brilliant idea. Ralph can shape shift thanks to his powers, so couldn't he just... shape shift to look like DeVoe and get Barry's charges dismissed during his appeal?

It's a brilliant idea. Except for one tiny little flaw.

"It'll never work," Ralph tells her.

"Sure it will. We've got plenty of pictures of DeVoe, footage of his classes so you can imitate his voice and body language..."

"I'm face blind," he tells her. "I'll never be able to get his features right." And even if he does, Ralph's a little afraid he won't be able to get his own face right again afterwards.

"What if we 3D-printed a copy of his face. You could learn his features by touch instead of by sight. I can coach you on any touch ups you need," Cecile offered, a convenient work around and...

Ralph is scared. But he could never live with himself if he didn't at least try to help out Barry. After everything Barry had done for him...

"Yeah, sure, it's worth a shot."

The pure shock Barry exhibits when Ralph walks into that court room, walking and talking and looking exactly like DeVoe, is worth the panic attack he has later as Cecile and Cisco reassure him he looks like Ralph Dibny again. And Ralph would do it all over again if he had to because bringing his friend home safely would be worth a hundred panic attacks.

* * *

Barry misjudges how far he can push Izzy and it makes her reckless. It gets her killed.

"I'm sorry," Ralph says. "I shouldn't have blamed you."

"You were right, though. I screwed up. I kept thinking about the other bus metas that DeVoe murdered in front of me. I kept... I kept thinking about keeping you safe," Barry admitted. "I didn't put her first in her training and I got her killed."

"DeVoe is the one who decided to kill her," Ralph objects. He wishes there was something better he could say. Cisco should be here. He'd know what to say.

The problem is that Ralph is running out of time. Every bus meta who dies makes it increasingly likely that he'll be next. Maybe he should join Jim on Earth-38.

No one would blame him for running.

But Ralph can't abandon his friends to deal with this alone.

Still, the safety of Earth-38 is something he thinks about a lot over the next several weeks.

* * *

They're logging anomalies on the bus, when Ralph finds his missing Big Belly punch card. And he makes a quip about how close he is to getting a free kids meal. He might be better off financially these days - being a superhero really does pay, thank goodness - but that doesn't mean he's going to turn down a free meal. 

It's the follow up "if I even live that long" that Ralph should've kept to himself.

Barry looks pained and Ralph winces. Cisco had mentioned that they'd never lost so many people to one super villain before and Barry was clearly taking that very personally. Eobard Thawne might have killed more people, but the only two they knew for certain was Mason Bridge and Nora Allen, Barry's own mother. And while Zoom had definitely killed more - including Barry's father - most of those murders occurred before he came to their Earth. Zoom's minions had caused the majority of the trouble that year, culminating in rioting in the streets, but Zoom himself had a relatively low Earth-1 body count. Similarly, Savitar had left the killing up to his minions and only personally killed one person, someone called HR Wells whom Ralph suspected wasn't from their Earth, much like Harry. But DeVoe didn't send in the minions. He murdered his victims personally.

There was a part of Ralph that wanted to strike back in kind. It was, arguably, self defense. Not legally, but... he already knows it's not the Team Flash way. It's one thing to kill someone in a fight in self defense, when there's no other way. There have been a handful of people who have died during the Flash's fight's over the years and Ralph has no doubt Barry regrets each and every one of them.

"Don't even joke about that," Barry insists. "We're going to get DeVoe. Throw him in Iron Heights long before he ever gets to you."

"Yeah... and if that doesn't work, there's always Earth-38. I can hang out with Supergirl while you guys regroup and come up with a new strategy." Even as Ralph says the words, he knows it'll never happen. It's not in him to run away anymore.

Maybe it's stupid and selfish of him, though. If what DeVoe wants - needs - for his plans to succeed is Ralph's body and powers, then the smart thing to do would be run away. Hide on another Earth where, presumably, DeVoe would never find him. After all, Jim the Weeper is still okay. Doing great in therapy and working for the DEO's human resources department, according the the lovely Miss Kara Danvers. 

But Barry just smiles in relief. "Exactly. You'll be fine, Ralph."

"Right," he agrees. It tastes like a lie.

* * *

They send Edwin to Earth-38. He's not thrilled about it, but it's a better option than the pipeline. But before he goes, he tells Ralph about DeVoe's super secret lair and Ralph just...

Caitlin got hurt when one of those Samuroids attacked them. And Ralph knows what the robot said afterwards was calculated to wind him up, but... it's true. DeVoe won't stop until he has what he wants and he'll destroy anyone who gets in his way. Including Team Flash.

Especially Team Flash.

So Ralph goes to steal the suped up tuning fork. Sonic Scepter. Whatever its called. Two hits, was what Harry said. Two hits and no more DeVoe.

Ralph won't be part of Team Flash when it's over. Even if they wanted to take him back, he knows he won't deserve it. But they're his. All of them. And he won't risk their lives for his sake. He's not worth that. But they are.

But Barry stops him and listens to Ralph's admission. That he's not scared for himself anymore. His own death isn't the worst ending anymore. It's losing even one of his friends.

He spent too long being friendless and worthless to take even a single one of them for granted now.

"Don't you think we feel the same way about you?" Barry asks. "We like who you've become. Ralph... don't take our friend away from us."

* * *

They're able to copy Edwin's pocket dimension powers - turns out that in practice, they aren't all that different from Cisco's ability to create breaches. Ralph wanted to go with them. He used every argument he could make to all but beg to go with them.

Barry and Iris veto him anyway. But when the alarms go off, Ralph's actually relieved he stayed behind. He's up and running before he even realizes where he's headed.

DeVoe and his wife head straight for the inter-dimensional breach devices and Ralph gets there before them. And by the time the creepy chair floats into the room, Ralph's destroyed every single inter-dimensional breach device in Cisco's lab.

It's not what the happy couple had expected. The first and, unfortunately, last surprising thing Ralph manages to do that night.

DeVoe still takes Ralph's body, but... Ralph's thinking about Earth-38 when he feels DeVoe's stolen hand touch his head. DeVoe may have gotten to Janet Petty before them, but there were other metas that they've saved. Who are on Earth-38 where DeVoe can't reach them anymore.

Ralph did that. Ralph saved those people. It's something to feel proud of as his identity slips away under the onslaught of the worst pain he's ever felt.

"Just hold on! We can save you," Barry promises. They all know he can't keep it, though.

Before all of this, Ralph had pretty much hated himself. Barry, Cisco, Iris, Cecile... and all the rest of them. They've taught Ralph how to grow as a person, how to become someone he likes being. Reminded him how good it felt to have self respect. "Barry," Ralph says, and it's important. He has to hold on long enough to say this. "You already have."

Ralph's still thinking about Earth-38 as everything goes dark; he can't really say he has any regrets.

* * *

There are moments of lucidity. Moments where Ralph pushes back.

DeVoe's hand falters and the beaker topples to the floor. Shatters. The last of the Weeper's tears - enough to allow DeVoe control over his wife for a few weeks longer - soak into the carpet.

Clifford stares at his hand for a long while, as if trying to determine what caused it to slip like that.

And in the back of his mind, Ralph fades out for a little while longer.

* * *

He hides in his own mind, trying to keep one step ahead of DeVoe. It's not real. Ralph knows that much. But he also knows that if he gives up, eventually he'll be dead for real.

And then, in the landscape of Ralph's dying mind, he see's something out of place. It's not DeVoe flying around in that chair of his, barely human anymore. But a flash of red.

Or, more accurately, a Flash in red.

"Rookie?" Ralph calls, hurrying out into view. He's hoping he's wrong. Because if Barry is here, then...

"He didn't get me," Barry reassures him. It's the only relief Ralph gets because... DeVoe likes to taunt Ralph, whenever he catches up.

This time is no different and there's a smugness there as he taunts not just Ralph, but Barry. He knows why Barry's there and he's not concerned, not one bit. Ralph gets it when they find the dead DeVoe in the lecture hall. It's another taunt. Another way for DeVoe to tell him that everyone he loves will die.

"No." Barry says that word, like it could stop DeVoe in his tracks. "This isn't over. Marlize said that if we could get the good in DeVoe to the nexus then he'd take over."

"Yeah, well he's dead, with a hole in his chest. Get yourself out of here, Barry," Ralph begs. If Barry's out there, maybe he can take a few of their friends to safety. To Earth-2 or 38 or just somewhere not here.

They'll never abandon Earth-1. Ralph knows that. But if Barry leaves, then maybe Ralph can pretend. For a little while.

"The good in DeVoe is you, Ralph. This is your body and if I take you to that nexus, it will wipe DeVoe out for good."

It's as good a plan as any. And what feels like an eternity later, after a fight that would've made the makers of _The Matrix_ proud, Ralph shakes off the last of DeVoe's intruding thoughts. He looks up and sees his family watching him with hope on their faces. "I look like me, right?" 

"Yeah, man," Cisco tells him while Barry helps Ralph to his feet. "You look like yourself again."

* * *

Ralph was always terrible with faces, even before the accident. Mirrors got to be a little disconcerting afterwards, though. He had a hard time recognizing the person in the mirror as himself.

He didn't look any different. Ralph had known that the first time he'd stared into a mirror and accepted this was his life now. He didn't look different, it was his brain's facial recognition software that was faulty. He might have put his fist through the mirror in frustration that night. His landlord hadn't been particularly understanding about the incident.

Seven years bad luck is the typical cost of a broken mirror. But Ralph would like to think that surviving DeVoe has turned his luck around.

And he's getting better at recognizing himself in the mirror these days.

Ralph grins at his reflection as he puts on his domino mask. The person smiling back at him looks like a hero.


End file.
